A study in unfeasibility

I've always been a proponent of the philosophy of "doing more with less". Not sure why, it's some kind of deep-seated thing that probably goes back to my earlier days of using computers.

Every time you hear about a new computer game these days, the computer requirements for it have gone through the roof - you need this speed processor, that speed graphics card, and so on. If you can't make it work on what is the standard hardware of the time (which was, of course, the latest, whizz-bang, all-singing, all-dancing hardware just a year or two ago), you just tell everyone they have to upgrade their hardware.

Smacks of laziness to me - it wasn't like that back when I got serious about using computers. My Amiga had a 7.16MHz processor, the default graphics and sound hardware, and maybe a RAM upgrade at the most, from 512K to 1MB. And watching what very clever people did with this setup over the years was eye-opening, especially being part of the demo scene, where all the cleverest programmers lurked, playing pirated games, making free international phone calls and innovating more in their bedrooms than most professional programmers did in multi-million-dollar offices.

These clever sticks pushed the hardware beyond its limits, with more and more clever effects, larger numbers of moving objects and more colours on screen than had been concievable even a year or two before. There is something to be said of having fairly tight limits to work within - it brings the best out of people.

In the realm of computing, the only time you see this philosophy at work is in the world of console gaming - as a rule, you can't upgrade the processor, RAM or graphics card in your Xbox, you just have to rely on the ingenuity of the programmers to extract more and more from whatever hardware they are presented with. You also see it with mobile phone games - my phone (Sony Ericsson K800i) has better graphics capabilities than my Amiga ever did, and I can talk to people using it, too. Shame I can't attach a Kempston joystick to it and play these games on a screen that's actually bigger than a postage stamp. 

Outside of computing, this philosophy isn't dead either, although it is becoming marginalised. Take the Japanese kei car, for instance. 

Back in the '50s, in order to raise the standard of living and stimulate their motor industry, the Japanese government wanted to encourage their citizens to buy cars instead of motorbikes, and created a new category of car - it had mandated maximum engine capacity, and the footprint of the car could be no bigger than  3.4m x 1.48m. If a car could fit within these limitations, the car could be sold as a kei car, and be subject to considerably lower taxation, much less restrictive parking rules and so on. This has led to some remarkable ingenuity in extracting the most in terms of performance, capacity and comfort.

Those little 660cc engines now have supercharging and turbocharging so they can go as fast as their larger siblings, some of these cars have more room inside them than cars twice their size, some even have 4-wheel drive, and are not lacking in the creature comforts and safety features that modern drivers take for granted. This is as a result of state-mandated innovation, that resulted in some ingenious men in Tokyo, Nagoya, Osaka and Sapporo to extract the most from the least.  

Maybe this is why the American philosophy on cars doesn't gel with me. It's the antithesis of the kei car philosophy - every new model of car is bigger than the outgoing one, for no appreciable gain. None of these cars are in any way cleverer than what came before, just bigger and maybe slightly prettier. There are precious few concessions to efficiency, good packaging and versatility. Because, apparently, this isn't what the American car-buying public want. They actually want bigger and less efficient, even in these days of inflating petrol prices and environmental panic. Something about safety, apparently. But it's more like socially acceptable, neighbourly dick-swinging, if you ask me - my SUV is bigger than yours, therefore I'm more virile and valuable to the human race, and all that. 

It'll probably never happen while the oil companies run the US, but it'd be nice to see an American version of the kei car mandate -  it's hard to imagine, but it'd be great to see it happen. But, in the meantime, it's great to see cars such as the Honda Fit and the Toyota Yaris selling well. They're targeted at Generation Y, who will, of course, grow up to become the next generation's movers and shakers - they believe in efficiency, climate change and the simple notion of making life cheaper for themselves, which is what this all comes down to. 

Smaller, more efficient and more environmentally-friendly cars make sense on the simple premise that you pay less for them and they cost less to run, leaving you more money for other things.  You're doing just as much with less. That's efficiency, and that works for me. 

So I'll be off down the Toyota and Scion dealership when I get back. 

Our Black Friday's lead singer quit the band today.

This has infuriated me in several ways. Firstly, it just confirmed my suspicions that the singer is an egomaniac who knows nothing of commitment. We played a good show on Saturday night, and we're still a new band with a lot of potential. Sounds like something worth sticking with, doesn't it? But no, he wants the fame and bright lights on his terms. He just wants to walk into a band, be handed a bunch of songs, and to get on stage and sing them to all the women who he thinks will be admiring him. He doesn't want to work at it, like every band who are worth anything have had to do. So good luck to him next time there's a series of "Rock Star", "X Factor" or other such vapid TV talent show. This, on top of the other recent line-up change, has made me despair for the future of the band. The band I moved 3500 miles to join.

Secondly, we changed all our plans so we could move out here, primarily so I could join this band. That month of sheer stress and sacrifice we endured to make this happen now seems futile. I thought the band was a stable line-up, just looking for the right bass player. How wrong I was.

We could still be in the UK, I could be working and saving towards the eventual move here, we could still have Binxy and be putting money away to bring him with us, we could have afforded to ship all our stuff over here, we could have stuck it out at the flat and got our whole deposit back, rather than being here, penniless. It makes me feel like all my periods of homesickness lately have been for nothing.

I'm fucking gutted, I don't mind telling you. Not sure where it all goes from here.

A couple of widely divergent things to say today....

Firstly, after some unpleasant flaring of tempers at last night's band practice, I'm not sure where OBF is going to be going. I stayed out of it all, but there is a clash of fundamental opinions between some members of the band that will either need to get ironed out or we'll have to go our separate ways. This annoys and upsets me because a very large part of the reason we brought forward our plans to move out here was so I could join this band. I spent almost every penny I brought over from the UK on buying a bass amp so I could do this. We've got another show on Saturday, so we'll have to see how that goes, and take it from there.

Secondly, also on a music-related topic, but nothing to do with the band, I've thought of a way that the record industry can save itself.

Bring back vinyl.

I have come to the conclusion that maybe the CD's days are numbered. If people want music for their iPod, car stereo, etc, they can download the MP3. If they want it in a physical format, they can buy the vinyl. I know it's never really gone away, but I think there's a lot more life left in the old vinyl format. To many people's ears, it sounds better, plus you have to potential for proper, full-size album art, and to have an album formatted properly (side one, side two and so on). This sort of stuff is very desirable, as well as something you just don't get with digital. There is something special about handling and putting on a record, as opposed to a CD, about having that big cover... it makes music seem more special and less of a disposable commodity.

So, downloads for the people who either want their fix of disposable music, or who only ever listen to music on the go, and vinyl for those who actually want to build a physical music collection. Maybe provide a voucher with every vinyl album purchase so people can officially download the digital version of the tracks for free.

I've always said I'm an ideas man. And speaking of good ideas, I've got to patent my design for a real musical instrument based on the Guitar Hero controller...

I once had an infant school headmistress called Sister Rita - a nun in the service of Our Lady Of Lourdes Catholic Infant School in Blackheath. She insisted to my very excitable parents that I'd be a famous writer one day, just because I was reading Danny Fox At The Palace at the age of five, instead of Jack And Jill. My level of literacy might have been somewhat above others in my peer group, but, unless it was some divine insight from the Almighty himself, how did she know that I might revisit her words some thirty years later?

I have decided that the ideal career for me would be that of a journalist. I can string a few words together in a somewhat intelligent manner, my spelling is intentionally perfect (to the point where I look upon those who cannot grasp simple spelling as creatures on the same level as the contents of my cat's litter tray) I have a basic grasp of irony, pathos and pacing, and I know some really long words. I'm sure I was the first person in my class at school to be able to spell and pronounce, as well as know the meaning of,  antidisestablishmentarianism - supposedly the longest word in the English language. However, since driving through Wales and observing some of the place names, I've come to the conclusion the Welsh language has some considerably longer and more tongue-twisting words, even of most of them require you to store phlegm in the back of your throat for a week before you can attempt to pronounce them.

However, I greatly prefer writing prose to writing code, and I'm probably better at it too. Yes, I know AJAX, but I also know iambic pentameter.

I've decided I'm going to write about music, movies, computers and cars, get a portfolio of articles together, and approach a few papers and magazines. If Jeremy Clarkson can get a column in the Sunday Times, then I bloody well can too.

The hosting for my "other" blog expired yesterday - I never used it much anyway, to be honest, so I've decided to focus my (somewhat inconsiderable) blogging efforts here.

I've uploaded a few entries from my personal (offline) journal to get me going - those of you in my neighbourhood here can see most of them.

Life is interesting at the moment... re-adjusting to the culture shock of being back in the US, mostly. But I'm in a band again, and I'm busier than I've been in ages, so it's not all bad.

My mind has been full of images of Australia. Even more so now I've done a bit of reading online.

There is a severe shortage of good bass players in Melbourne.
There are loads of amazing-looking flats and houses to rent in Melbourne for a pittance.
I'd take home close to $5000 AUD a month in Melbourne and it seems the jobs come looking for you.
They have proper summers there.
They like their big V8 cars and their superminis, unlike the US.
They drive on the left and you can just trade in your UK licence without taking another test.
There's a good blend of UK and US cultural influences there, as well as their own - I find the whole Aboriginal culture fascinating.
It's clean and not over-populated.

But it's so far away. From everything. People who go there don't get to leave very often unless they're completely loaded.

*sigh* Must stop thinking about stuff like this.

I’ve been mulling over the type of lifestyle I’d ideally like to have… I’d like to be free to create and work as I see fit, making reasonable money and not having to throw it all into other people’s pockets. But I still want to be able to have a social life and nice possessions, which means being in driving distance of good people and good places to go! An unattainable ideal? Not necessarily. You just have to come at it from a different angle.

I’ve always liked the idea of non-conventional housing - earthships, prefabs, houseboats, converted railway carriages, and so on (I draw the line at caravans and trailers though!). A lot of these are available cheaply, you just need land to put them on (or a berth on a river/canal, for a houseboat), and planning permission. All this appeals to me way more than the idea of a city apartment or suburban semi.

I’m thinking along these lines because you could, with a bit of saving, just buy something like this outright, no mortgage to worry about, and then set to it to make it a lot more self-sustaining (wind and solar power, filtered water for drinking and sewerage, etc), thus seriously cheapening your outlay to utility companies.

So there you are - a home, bought and paid for, minimal utility bills and, for me, something more akin to freedom and escaping from the rat race. I know the motives for this sound a bit “hippy”, but they couldn’t be more capitalist… I just want to be able to make money on my own terms, and have more control over where it goes, while still having a nice, personalised and comfortable home with no mortgage to burden me for the rest of my life! I’ve just paid off every last debt I have in the world, and I’m in no hurry to saddle ourselves with six figures of debt anytime soon.

The investigation shall commence presently… check back for updates.

There’s no place like home.

If I may quote truculent dictionary pioneer Samuel Johnson, “When a man is tired of London, he is tired of life; for there is in London all that life can afford”.

So, decision made. We’re going back

When I was a small boy, in response to my mum asking me what I wanted to be when I grew up, I said, “A scientist in Antarctica”.

I’m not sure what I thought I’d be working on, but, now, in my more advanced years, I can see that a job working at McMurdo Sound in temperatures of -60C  wasn’t something particularly wise to aspire to. Although I do wish I’d pursued the science thing further, I wasn’t bad at it… I still occasionally wish that I’d studied to become an astronomer or a particle physicist or something, and to have lots of letters after my name… to be able to put my title as “Doctor” and suffix my name with “BSc, Ph.D”.

But, the aspect that did appeal to me, and that has always appealed to me, was the isolation (I was a very insular kid, so that might be why it came to mind as a good idea). I’m not a good team player; I work best alone and undisturbed. I still like that idea. To work well, I need to lock the world outside. If I am to remain in corporate hell, I’ll have to strive for my own office. It doesn’t have to be a corner office with floor-to-ceiling windows, just one where I can lock out everybody else. If people want me, they can email or IM me - knocking on my office door will be strictly prohibited.

Just one of many thoughts I have when there’s loads of people crowding around my desk for absolutely no good reason.

Just. Bugger. Off.

Now, do they have any vacancies in Antarctica?

I'm always full of great ideas for little web-related business ventures. And I'm good at coding up nice sites and so on (like my recent Muzos site), I'm just utterly useless at trying to sell the work I do. Muzos is on Google, and so on, it even has AdSense banner ads, but no bugger's using it.

Frankly, I just don't know how to do it. There's no point in me doing all this stuff if I can't sell it. And I really want to work for myself - I know the quality of the work I can do is good enough.

So what can I do? Should I just try and get a salesperson on board and give them commission? 

Help!